Love Doesn’t Exist

By Bakampa Brian Baryaguma

bakampasenior@gmail.com; www.huntedthinker.blogspot.ug

This year is soon ending; and the next soon coming. So, 14^th February is around the corner – the day known as St Valentine’s Day in the courtship world. It is alleged that it is a day for lovers. As the world braces itself for it, the grossly misleading allegation is that, love is filling the air! This is not true. Love doesn’t exist in this world – it has never and will never be so, just because it is impossible to attain love.

My contention is that all human relations are economic. Economic relationships hinge on exchange; the giving and receiving of things in return. Talk of something for something life (or love if you want). What matters here is what you have to offer to others. Period!! This applies to all sorts of human interactions. It is so serious that if you have nothing to give, even your own children will leave you!

People primarily exchange two things: time and money (or other material possessions instead of money). One must have either or both of these two before they can be in this thing called love. They are the essence and conditional requirements for love to exist, especially money. Nature made it in such a way that the man should have the money to spend on the woman and the woman, the time to spend pleasing him in exchange. But this is changing today although nature cannot be cheated.

Hence even in rare circumstances, as usually portrayed in Nigerian Movies, where a rich girl ‘loves’ a poor boy, the conditional requirements of love still stand out: the girl must have the disposable wealth and the boy, the time to spend satisfying her emotional needs. Moreover, this is normally where the boy has a promising future. For instance, he could be brilliant in class or simply strong and hardworking, thus evoking expectations of future benefit.

Recently a female friend of mine cheekily commented on Facebook that if you cannot pay cash for something, know that you cannot afford it. Now, all these are selfish considerations. And if St Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 13:5 that love is not selfish is anything to go by, then there can be no love at all.

So, if there is no love whatsoever, what is there? I aver that “acceptance” is the nearest there is. We relate with the people around us not because we love them but because we choose to accept, take and tolerate them the way they are. We live in a pitiable world doing one another mere favours without profound attachment such as love demands. The difference between love and acceptance is debatable. Suffice to say that love represents a higher form of benevolence and benignity which is far beyond human reach, for all have fallen short of the glory of God.

It is therefore a misnomer to call St Valentine’s Day a day for lovers; rather it is a day for men and women making brisk business in the guise of love. In this materialistic world, the day presents a golden opportunity for people to lie to one another saying that “I love you” and get away with it.

But many people do not accept this truth because human nature is such that we like deceptions and self-consolation through false hopes and assurances. Nevertheless, this cannot negate the truth that love doesn’t exist in this world. Nowadays, people talk of “true love”. I am not sure whether there is false love also. This is evidence of the erroneous self consolation that I am talking about.